


Leaf Nonsense

by Dodo



Category: Far Cry 3
Genre: Gen, Mentioned Vaas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 14:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7805653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck has unusual cravings and Jason has to fulfill his desires in order to 'free' Keith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaf Nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> It's none sexual, nothing like that happening here.

The island of rook was an exotic place, there were no laws and morality was absent. That's what initially attracted Buck to the place, newly caught slaves, struggling oh yes he rather enjoyed what Rook had to offer. In the ways of flesh and pleasure, there was no end in sight.

For food however, the island lacked. Cocaine and weed, hardly food items. Maybe some of the hallucinogenic mushrooms that littered the land? Tigers, bear, crocodile, large onery birds, fat bitey lizards, occasional man stuffed into a deer. The game was impressive here, Buck like any other man enjoyed a steak the more red the better.

However Rook had very little to offer in side dishes or even appetizers. If one bothered with fishing one of the multitudinous teeth lined fishes would attack. Steamed shellfish of any kind was hard to come by, mostly due to the sharks, mostly due to Buck preferring to stay inland. It was a secret that he particularly didn’t trust the waters.

Jelly fish Buck had one incident with them as a kid, he was done with the water. The dubious critters could live at peace he wouldn’t be romping around the ocean looking for food. At least snakes and bugs could be seen and anything they could dish out wasn’t as intense as that stringy piece of jelly.

The little shit, he was minding his own business when he’d been stung and the jelly had wrapped him in its terrifying grip. As if the tiny thing could have hoped to eat him. Jellyfish were the worst type of greedy, wanted something they could never hope to fulfill.

Seafood was not on the menu, not at all unless someone offered to go get it for him.

What Buck craved more than anything was a fresh salad, crispy romaine, plump tomatoes, crunchy bits of carrot and arugula, peppercinis, in a nice tart balsamic! Oh he’d just about do anything for a big bowl of salad.

On Rook half the plants tasted like shit and the other half killed you for looking at them wrong. Not to mention it really gunked up the works on the other end, Buck feared hemorrhoids were in his near future, passing shit had progressively become harder moving to Rook.

Perhaps the rumors about Vaas shoving tubers up his ass were more about him evacuating himself and less about how the other was sodomizing things. Where the so called pirate lord had obtained the root was a mystery as well. Buck had carefully inquired about that, but when Vaas caught wind of the rumor it subsequently stopped for fear of death.

One way to get what he desired the newest ‘upstart’ Jason brody was running around doing chores for people part of his warrior training or something. Buck chuckled more like the descent into madness, seeing that white boy get hopped up on drugs and then kill pirates was amusing considering how sloppy the deaths were.

Jason would come to him eventually he had something Jason wanted and old friend, or a husk of an old friend. He was itching to ask for the knife of legend but at the same time, wanted to ask for a salad with all the fixings. That would be near impossible to deliver unlike the dagger that was somewhere on the island. Unlike a legit salad.

Keep the high and insane white boy away from him for a good long while. While he enjoys the goods he rightfully paid for. No wonder Vaas liked Jason they were both on the same side of the coin, eventually Jason would no doubt take Vaas’ place after the drugs had finished warping his mind. Killing was still killing, even if Jason's goal was noble, heck Holt's goal was just as noble as far as Buck was concerned.

He wanted that salad, it would taste so crisp and fresh. A big bowl for several meals, just enough to get tired of it. The knife could wait, after all why put something dangerous in the white boy’s hands? Jason held righteous rage for what he’d done to his own property, for some reason or another. No one had fucked Jason, yet mostly because Vaas had claimed Jason for himself.

No need to get in the hyper active insane pirate lord’s bad side which incidentally was the only side he had. Probably because Buck could grow a mustache and Vaas would never acknowledge that he couldn’t. That and that scar on his head wasn’t something to be feared of more like someone’s inability to use a straight razor like intended. That and you could smell Vaas coming a mile away.

There he could see jason trying to make his way sneakily to his cabin, maybe if he wasn’t wearing blue. Maybe if he wasn’t so white, Buck could see the tatu on Jason’s arm, ah yes that was the current issue with Vaas, couldn’t share with his cunt of a sister. Citra was a mess she was the queen of her people by a combination of drugs and manipulation.

Jason had fallen for the way of the warrior as well, according to the legend she’d fuck the strongest warrior carve out their hear and eat it making the baby within stronger? Sounded like a bunch of week old shit to Buck. Whispers of Citra manipulating Vaas, if they were indeed brother and sister something must have happened neither side would admit, that was for sure.

He grinned as jason approached him, of course he wanted his friend back. Buck offered the trade, the white boy accepted the trade easily without fully understanding how hard it would be to get the salad with all the fixings.

It was a surprise that within a fortnight Jason came back with a large bowl of the green leafy stuff Buck desired. It seems to have all the fixings, onions, olives, mushrooms, even salad. Jason claimed the bowl was an important ceremonial bowl of the Rakat. The engraved label of pyrex on the bottom belie that only Jason thought it was cerimonial and what ever bull shit Citra was feeding the white boy was certainly working. Hook, Line, and sinker, the young idiot swallowed it all.

He had to taste it, insisting that he taste it before he relinquished his broken toy to Jason. Carefully applying the vinaigrette and took a forkful of the leafy substance making sure to get a bit of everything, even mushrooms though he rather disliked the uncooked texture of them. The fresh crunch and burst of flavor in his mouth was orgasmic. He moaned and took another greedy bite this was so good.

\--

Jason darted past him, probably to retrieve his friend, He didn’t care let the white boy save his useless friend. The Salad was just that good, his plan to knife Jason in the back as he tried to get dear old queef out of the basement fell to the side of his mind as he shoveled another mouthful of the leafy goodness into his maw.

Jason with keith in tow carefully made his way back to the first floor of Buck’s shack. Hoping that the mushrooms he’d cleverly placed in the salad were starting to work their toxins on Buck as he carefully removed the dagger from its hiding spot. Why Buck had asked for a salad instead of the dagger Jason currently held was a mystery to the young warrior. He held no inclination to ask the sociopath that was moaning over the salad, as he plunged the knife into the other’s back. He heard Keith whimper, perhaps he should have done this without Keith present.

He stabbed buck several times, and a few more even though the other had stopped moving and making noise. Collapsed over the bowl of utter leaf nonsense, Jason shrugged and grabbed keith’s hand to drag him to the others.

**Author's Note:**

> This was entirely fueled by a picture that entered my dash I did not make it, but kudos to whomever did it haunted me to write this  
> 


End file.
